Brexit Negotiators to Demand Surfboard Permits for all UK Surfers Once EU Exit is Achieved

Brexit negotiators have revealed that UK based surfers could be forced to have their surfboards registered with the further possibility of limiting water time based on location once the UK leaves the European Union.

The shocking news, which is being dubbed as the ‘Surf Tax’, was announced just days after Prime Minister Theresa May triggered Article 50, the non-reversible treaty that will enforce Britain’s EU departure, and has left surfers up in arms.

Similar permit arrangements have been set up in the USA and it is believed that Theresa May conspired with Donald Trump to bring the scheme to the UK to increase treasury revenue while reducing the negative impact of surfing on local tourism.

Surfers are generally tight bastards and dog walkers are likely to spend more

Reducing surfers clogging up the beaches will result in an uplift in tourist spend as according to one insider “Surfers are generally tight bastards and dog walkers are likely to spend more on their frothy Mochaccinos.”

General consensus seems to echo the fact that this policy was not mentioned in pre-Brexit campaigning which may have swayed swinging voters and this has caused the most controversy.

Proposals, yet to be agreed, include needing an individual permit for each surfboard owned and limiting water time to 30 minutes per day during peak summer surfing periods.

Main image: Karl-Ludwig Poggemann